Isn’t it funny how things change? Isn’t it depressingly funny how you imagine your life to be and it turns out to be something almost opposite? Isn’t it terribly, terribly funny how the people who promised will be there forever, leave the quickest. Isn’t sadness a bit funny too?
Those old conversations, those treasured memories, those favourite gifts, those scribbled journals, those sleepless dawns, those heavy billed phone calls, and then the nothingness; how funnier can life get? I sometimes wonder if people actually mean something, or rather if we actually mean something to others. Like there are people who love us and will miss us if we were to die tomorrow and they will remember us, but how much did we actually mean to them?
You took care of their deepest secrets and their darkest fears. You remembered those insignificant details in that monotonous conversations. You woke up a little too early fir your schedule, just because you needed to wake them up. You almost told them you needed them, but didn’t. Because you feared they might leave forever. You didn’t, but they didn’t stay either.
You told them your fears. You told them those truthful lies you’d been hiding from everyone else. You shared your weird fetishes with them. You shared your favourite music with them. But you didn’t tell them you loved them. Why? You thought they won’t stay? You didn’t, and they still left.
Forever is an illusion. What matters is today. What matters is your existence. What matters is the fact that you’re there. It doesn’t matter if you’re up the entire night listening to someone cry and it doesn’t matter if you can’t receive their call when you’re in a concert, but what matters is letting them know that in spite of everything, you’re there.
Don’t believe people who say that they’ll always be there. Don’t believe them because they always leave. Believe people who don’t care about always, and choose to stick to you today instead. Believe the one who doesn’t talk about a happily ever after, but each time you fall, their hand you find the strongest.
Believe the person who loves you the most. Believe the person with whom you go to sleep everyday. Believe the person who laughs with your laughter and cries with your tears. Believe the person who looks back at you from the mirror. Believe the person who’ll never leave.
Believe in people around, but believe in yourself the most.